BlogHer: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

I'll admit that I wasn't thrilled about the titles of the sessions that were offered. But just like a message being reduced to 140 characters, it's hard to get the idea of the proposed conversation based on the title of the sessions. Sometimes, you get lucky, and it's a great conversation. I got lucky A LOT! Every session I attended, even the ones that I attended on accident, were amazing. The panel discussing feminism in a post Sarah Palin world was inspiring. I met and chatted with Dana Loesch and listened intently to Fausta and Emily Zanotti. We ended up continuing our conversation out in the lobby and I couldn't have been more thrilled. I was also introduced to a writer with the exact opposite political views, but whom I learned to admire and respect by the end of the weekend. Katie Orenstein decided to change the world by empowering women to Claim their Expertise and submit op-ed pieces in larger numbers. She had very little time to get a ton of material into us and came off as a bit abrasive at first, but after attending her seminar on Sunday, I understood her urgency. Even though I felt like I'd been beaten, I knew I needed it and returned for her second session on Writing an Op Ed. And just to keep things light, I attended the Humor panel with my beautiful new IRL friend, Maggie (the panel RAWKED!) and the MamaPop session on writing about pop culture and why when women do it, it's called gossip, and how do we as bloggers who blog about our kids reconcile criticizing another mother, even if she's exploiting her own children (Kate Gosselin). It was a great conversation and I loved all that Catherine had to say on the subject. All of those sessions were recorded, so go take a listen on Blogher.

And then I got a photo of me with Redneck Mommy and Backpacking Dad. Holler!

THE BAD

The founders of BlogHer did an amazing job bringing brands and bloggers together. They are to be applauded for their outstanding work for our community. But I don't think we knew it was all going to get to this high fevered pitch... this frenzy. I understood it. In my reptilian survival mind, I understood the scarcity thinking that caused women to behave badly, but my developed civilized mind couldn't fathom what I was seeing. And for all the stuff... wow. 

When I go to conferences, I know that there will be a whole area set aside for all the goodies and if I really want to see it all, I'll go there. I also know that I'll come across some other goodies throughout the sessions from the sponsors. What I was not expecting was to have to maneuver around as though in a circus midway. It was also disheartening that the Step Right Up calls were for make up, laundry detergent, baby toys... as though we were the audience of some Better Homes magazine from 1953. I tweeted my dismay, wondering out loud if we weren't more than lipstick and vacuums. I thought I was alone in that sentiment. Thankfully, I was not. 

It was hard to avoid the mental clutter and I had grown fairly weary. By the time Saturday night was upon us, I had uncomfortably resolved myself to the new landscape of our space. We arrived at the very cool party that was BowlHer (and it WAS SO COOL), and I found that I had to catch my breath when I saw at least ten pyramids of soup cans and bowls of fish crackers on every table clashing against the chic decor of the swanky Lucky Strike. It was not what you would call "subtle."

THE UGLY

There's a reason I haven't been to the local fair in years. It's all the gross people. That nasty carnie behavior can't be regulated when it comes to a public events... not even at Blogher. Personality quizzes are not required before purchasing a ticket. People that would walk through a party stark naked or women that would steal swag in plain sight are allowed to attend the conference alongside the technical wizards, beautiful designers, and amazing writers. But something is really wrong when a group of ladies have to clean up after mothers that trashed a lobby in their drunken idiocy, and you start to wonder if some kind of screening isn't completely bad. There were also women who happily took money from companies that they grossly under-represented, tossing samples all willy-nilly like on tables for the wait staff to clean up. What did they care? They had their airfare/ticket/hotel/whatever paid for. There were also women who tore through boxes of giveaways leaving the garbage strewn throughout halls or piled in their rooms without so much as a tip for the cleaning folks. 

Some people wanted to blame the brands, but many of the PR reps that I spoke to were blown away by the ugliness they saw, too. I think there are many companies rethinking the direction of some relationships right now. Blogher may not be able to screen those behaviors out, but brands and readers can.

NOW WHAT?

Now, we reassess. I was excited to be there among friends and listening to great music, but I couldn't ignore that awful feeling that we were becoming billboards. Can we get a message across the universe and still be able to pay the bills? I'm sure other attendees thought me unstable. I suppose I was feeling fairly unstable, too. I wasn't entirely sure that  we could share what we know with others without selling out or going against our personal beliefs.

Reading so many posts this week, I believe we can.

Today, I took the Blog with Integrity pledge. I know it may not mean much to you, but it does to me. I wouldn't like to think that even one person sees me as a hypocrite. Even though I shoot with a Canon, I was happy to attend the Nikon party. Thrilled, in fact. I love that Carson Kressley's whole "Look Good" work. He's all about women loving the way they look. I was happy to show off my new Kurus to anyone that asked. I even let some people try them on. I love them, not because they were given to me, but because I was able to walk around endlessly without pain, which is a really big deal for me since I'm usually in a lot of pain. And although I had an Equinox from GM to drive to Chicago in, I didn't have gas money. Our gas came through Tweet ROI, developed by a good friend who believes that people can earn money with integrity and on their own terms. I appreciate companies that help us do what we love and I enjoy sharing them with everyone that will listen to me or read my words. I will always disclose any exchange of money or products. I always have.

I love to write and I'm thankful for all the great stuff that comes along with my small dot on the big giant map. If anything, the one thing I learned last weekend at Blogher was that the pendulum swung too far. Now, it's up to us to ask for and create a happy medium. We may not always be able to strike a perfect balance, but we owe it to our community and ourselves to try.

It comes down to transparancy, integrity, and responsible behavior. Without that, we're just making noise. And not the joyful kind.

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Check out Ode to BlogHer '09 by Telling Dad. He caught the total essence of the yuckiness... and he wasn't even there.